Do you have an uninvited buddy who travels everywhere you go? A passenger who whispers negative messages in your ear that aren’t true. Yet a part of you believes them; you’ve heard them so long.
I do, and she’s no girlfriend. If she were, I would’ve dumped her years ago.
Sometimes we get stuck with a relative who finds every opportunity to put us down and we tolerate their negative criticism because … Well, why do we tolerate it, anyway? My parents were extremely supportive; they never would have spoken to me the way my “friend” often does—perched on my shoulder, hissing and spewing in my ear all sorts of negative conversation from: “You’re having a bad hair day” to “Who do you think you are, writing a novel?” I wouldn’t criticize or scold anyone that way. Yet I hear every note I sing off key or incorrect word, and when I pass my neighbors’ homes I chide myself for not having a beautiful garden or front porch as they do. Sounds silly while I’m writing it down, but all too true.
I think of my big sister, who was incredibly kind and still is. She had a great influence on me, and she chose to be generous. Leaving my second grade teacher as the culprit? She was so nasty she made me stay after school one day because I misspelled my name. (In the second grade!) And I had a hideously mean teacher in high school who threw an eraser at one girl and made her cry, but although she raged at me vocally, I stood up to her. So, where do my negative inner-voices come from?
Entrants must be USA or Canadian residents only. Winner has one week to respond. Email address required! Please leave an email address so winner may be contacted!
Congratulations to RDvorak, winner of last week’s contest for an Amish-made tea towel and a copy of either Pennsylvania Patchwork or Leaving Lancaster!
I love your genuine and honest look at something we all face. We always seem to tell ourselves critical things or believe the lies that are told to us. May God remind us of truth and love in those most critical moments.
Thanks for this post. And thank you for the gift from last week. I feel blessed.
GlamorousLoks[at]live[dot]com
Thank you! I wonder what age we are when we first hear that little voice.
I truly love reading your blogs. They make you think!!! I am my own worst critical enemy! Thanks for all of your books.
zalomom@gmail.com
You are very kind, Michelle! Thank you!
Sometimes, I’m my own worst enemy. As time moves on, I am more able to get rid of the “bad friend in my own head” more easily. I know and like who I am and mostly, I am delighted with my own company.
Sounds as though you’ve matured and are at peace with yourself, Martha. Way to go!
Thanks for your blog. It so well put how I feel sometimes into words.
Thanks for all your books. I love reading them. I would love to win either one.
Thank you for your generous words, Kimber!
Oh I forgot my email…
quiltenbea@gmail.com
Oh, good, I hope everyone remembers to send me their email addresses!
love to see the clothes hanging on the line, makes me remember all the work my Mom did for us…I love to read and would love one of yours to read and review, thanks for sharing.
Paula O(kyflo130@yahoo.com)
Consider yourself entered! Thanks for visiting my blog.
I think I am the “friend” that tells me negative things. I would love to win one of your books.
susanmsj@msn.com
Sometimes, I may be my own worst friend too, Susan! Or is that my best enemy?
I too am my own worst enemy and I’m trying to change that.
rlepree@musfiber.com
One trick I created: I put a framed photo of myself as a 2-year-old on the bureau. When the nasty voice whispered in my ear I’d look at that photo and tell myself I’d never speak that way to a child.
That’s an excellent idea Kate, I’m going to try it!
I’ve kept that framed photo on my bureau for over 20 years, Rachel. A good reminder that a little girl still dwells inside of me.
Joannah C.
Its hard sometimes not to listen to the inner voice or friends. Sometimes I think most of us are just a bit jealous of what others have in their lives. I just remind myself God made me in his image and he makes all things beautiful. No I don’t have the beautiful front porch either but my house is filled with love.
I would loved to read either one of your books.
Auntiejomama@sbcglobal.net
Then you have a wonderful house indeed, Joannah! Make that a home.
I think we all have those types of friends that sing in our ears whenever we do wrong. Right now, I have actual relatives singing in my ears constantly because our parents have recently passed away, five months apart from each other. I am the executor of the estate, and no matter what I do, it’s not fast enough or fair enough. I am doing everything according to the will and the lawyers advise, not including taking what is legally mine. That, I choose to share with my siblings. Soooo….yes, I have this singing in my ear as well as the one that sings when I do silly things such as your issues.
Thank you for the opportunity to vent and for the opportunity to win.
Monique Wood
mosbe@aol.com
First, please accept my sympathy for the loss of your parents. At times like these all sorts of ugly issues surface and people tend to act their worst. Sorry you are the brunt of their impatient behavior.
I sure do and it is me.I guess it came from a very heartbreaking life.I was always trying to please people to get the love that should have came freely and never did.I love your posts.jackie_tessnair@yahoo.com
Thank you for writing, Jackie. Your note really touched me, deep in my heart. I pray that you experience His unconditional love.
Sometimes it is me. Would love to win.
I would love to give you a chance to win, Jane, but I need your email address or a way to contact you should you win.
Love to win this
Thank you for this comment, but please follow up with an email address.
I am my own worst enemy.
Linda, do not give yourself a bad time for forgetting to put your email address in, but I need it should you win.
I want this, klaskin@frontiernet.net (Cammie Klaskin)
Well then, you’re entered!
Hi, I think we’ve all had people in our lives like this-sometimes it is a parent or someone in authority. I grew up so insecure and critical of myself-still find that I scold myself often but I’m working on it. Trying to remember we are each a princess of the King. I’d love to win!
Noreen
werhis3@gmail.com
I work on it too, and yet that insidious voice floats back into my ear. I have to remind myself: that message did not come from God.
I would love To have the chance to win. And I belive we all have had friends like this. I know that I have had them.Betty Richaardson Senkowski inpr4life@hotmail.com
Thank you for your comment!
I know most of the time I am my worst nightmare. And I really don’t like it. But we can’t runaway from ourselfs. Would love to win your book.
Janna
brs882@yahoo.com
I can’t even run away from the bad hair day, but through the years I have improved vastly. Not my hair, but my negative self-putdowns.
yup…self doubt visits once in a while, conviction rears it’s ugly head, guilt rides me weary IF I let it….and yes, sometimes a human form is nit picking! Prayer Prayer Prayer….and a good cry help. Sometimes just CHOCOLATE or getting out….or dear friends….
Prayer and chocolate: a great title for a book! Thanks for visiting my blog. I hope you come that very soon and leave an email address!
i do have a person that always has a negative comment just waits to leave his remarks !! my brother-so annoying!! thanks
I heard once that siblings can affect a person more than their parents, Jackie. I notice you didn’t leave an email address and I need it in case you win.
Those wonderful friends! They build you up and can tear you down so fast with their comments! I have struggled with insecurities all my life.
Thank you for your honesty and for visiting my blog. I hope you stop back and leave your email address or a way to contact you should you win. Now, do not give yourself a bad time for forgetting.
I have alot of those kind of friends.Angela from KY
angelachesnut246@gmail.com
Can one have too many friends, Angela? Yup!
I think we all have this problem. We usually are more critical of ourselves than other people are. I would love to win one of our books! d.brookmyer@yahoo.com Donna Brookmyer
Thanks for leaving your comment! I do wonder at what age we start to put ourselves down.
i would love to win this contest.debbiemosley44@hotmail.com
You are entered!
Boy, don’t I know it! In high school I suffered from extreme anxiety. In the past month I have been sick from my iron supplements, ear infections and symptoms of an ulcer and all that has set me back a bit, progression wise, with my anxiety.
Just this weekend we needed to go about an hour from home. I wasn’t feeling well and the further and further we got from home, the more my anxiety level rose. All I kept hearing in my ear was “Your going to be sick” “You thought you were on the mend, but your not.” “Your going to feel so sick and be so far from home” “Your appointment on Thursday is going to result in having thyroid cancer”. I cried the last half of the way there.
My husband is truly supportive, but no one really knows how bad it can get from time to time. It’s Satan trying to hold me back and have me miss out. But you know what? I pushed through, made to the destination and started to feel so good! We turned the outing from panic filled, to going on a beautiful hike with the kids, and got many amazing pictures!
I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me!
It’s imperative to remember the Lord is there with each step we take, and places people in our lives to help erase those negative thoughts. Tonight will be a slight battle for me. We were not able to take the kids to the fair this weekend, due to my not feeling well. However we are going to try tonight. I need the Lord to keep my thoughts strong and allow me to enjoy seeing the smiles on my sons faces, the laughter while they play, and letting them have a fair food filled night!
Satan will try to discourage me, he will try to cause unrest in my mind, so we will have…I, will have a poor time and end up leaving early. This reminds me of the song “This Little Light of Mine” and I will sing that in my heart tonight and leave in triumph! 🙂
Info@Imaginary-Bee.com
My most negative person in my life, is me. Anxiety can be truly life altering.
Thank you for taking the time to express yourself, Elizabeth. And for your honesty. I pray your anxiety lifts like fog dissipating into the stratosphere
I’m my own worst critic. I criticize myself and then wonder why nothing happens to the other people that has happened to me. Would love to win your book.
Barbara Thompson
barbmaci61(at)yahoo(dot)com
Thanks for writing, Barbara! Hey, I just figured something out: all those other people have negative voices in their heads too!
I have learned that God doesn”t want us to be with or around negative people. I have tried to be postive. I am Woking hard on staying postive and staying away from the ones who are not. There is to much to live for to always see only negative. LeAnn Mooneyham angel4god(at)charter(dot)net
Excellent! Sounds like you’re headed in His direction, LeAnn!
I would love a chance to win…please enter me! Thank you! westfall1982@yahoo.com
You are entered!
I try to always be positive, but have to admit – some times are easier than others (think I came by it fairly as my father & grandmother have suffered with depression their entire lives)& it becomes easier to “beat up on myself”, or say something negative to someone else. Fortunately, I have wonderful best friends (all 30+ year friendships)that are all very positive towards me. My prayer is that I would be reminded to take the time to think things through before I let the words come out of my mouth.
Haven’t read any of your books – love all things Amish & would love to win one of your books! Thanks for the opportunity!
bonnieroof60(at)yahoo(dot)com
The gift of 30+ year friendships is remarkable. That tells me you are a person worth knowing!
Fun Giveaway. Thanks for the chance to win!
mandaandtom(at)gmail(dot)com
You are in, Amanda!
The voices I hear are the collection of other voices I have heard over the years. The voices I have chosen to believe instead of God. The voices God wants me to take captive and listen to no more. So one voice at a time, one piece of my past at a time, I turn over to Him, choosing instead to stand on God’s truth. http://www.angeladmeyer.com
I forgot my eamil. angeladmeyer63@gmail.com
Well said, Angela, and true! Thank you for visiting my blog
When I was younger,I suffered greatly from self doubt. I listened to the voices that told me all sorts of lies. But as I’ve grown older those voices have weakened. I’m comfortable with who I am – a child of God. I would love to win a copy of either book.
Linda R.
linlee822@gmail.com
It sounds as though you’ve already won a tremendous prize, Linda! One of the best life has to offer. And you’re also entered in this contest!
I live with that uninvited guest every single day. Always whispering in my ear…you are stupid, look how pretty she is and look how ugly you are. You’ll never fit in. Who would ever want to be your friend. It goes on and on and on!
It would be wonderful to never hear that voice again!
Thanks for your book giveaway.
Blessings!
Judy B
judyjohn2004(at)yahoo(dot)com
Thanks for writing, Judy. The moment I hear my inner voice criticizing (lying to) me, I say: stop it! Don’t talk to me that way. Over the years, it is vastly improved. Still a niggling now and then, but I make note of it and move on to better thoughts.
I love reading about the amish.I have read your books thay are vey good.I would love to win one of the books you are giveing away.Thanks for giveing us a chance to win one.
linda35973@yahoo.com
Thanks for commenting, Linda
The laundry brings back a Minnesota memory to me, when my mom always hung out the laundry in the yard. Always smelled so fine! The Amish live such a wholesome life and I love it and want those values in my life, too.
Thanks, Sonja!
I have a very close relative that is always the first to correct me if I’m wrong or wrote or said something they thought was not right.
I’ve had to stay clear of that uninvited guest.
Love Your books and Thank You for a chance to win.
Carolyn Jefferson
carolynj63@att.net
How kind of them, Carolyn, to spew their venom.. Sounds like a good person to steer clear of!
Sometimes I am the very close relative but I’m working on not doing that anymore.
Thanks for entering me in your giveaway. Would love to win Pennsylvania Patchwork for my Church Library.
Thanks!
Janet E.
von1janet(at)gmail(dot)com
Good for you, Library Lady! I have my lapses …
I would love to win. Yes, I have a small voice that talks to me and it always says negative things. Sharma Darby
I wonder if your small voice knows mine, Sharma!
Thanks for the chance to win one of your wonderful books! When I hear unwanted advice — I just ignore them!
Way to go, Tammy! Ignore, ignore, ignore! For a chance to win a book, please leave me an email address in case I need to contact you. BTW: I will not use these email addresses for any other purpose but to contact the winner. Promise.
Never negative because I only believe in being positive for myself as well as others! Waking up each morning knowing I will never see that day again, I try to make that day full of love and much laughter & positive thinking.
Wow, Bobbe, would you share your recipe with me?
Sometimes my youngest cousin does this and I get somewhat irritated inside, but I never tell her. I take it with a grain of salt and move on.
Kathy Faberge
finulhour@sbcglobal.net
A grain of salt can go a long way, Kathy! Congratulations for moving on
I have this unwanted “friend” that always whispers in my ear that I’m not a good enough person for anyone to want to be my friend, that I’m not pretty enough and surely not thin enough for anyone to want to be seen with me. Not a fun friend, and there are days that I tell that friend to shut up, and there are other days that my defenses are down and it sneaks in before I can slam that door.
Debbie Rhoades
ReadingMama922@gmail.com
Being aware that your so-called friend is lying to you is the first step to tossing her in the dumpster, Debbie! I have several dear friends who are overweight and I couldn’t care less. Would you think badly of me if you found out I was heavy and unattractive? Which I bet you’re not.
My voice is usually ME –talking to myself — sometimes negative & sometimes positive. I like to think that the “voice’ is my son or my parents trying to talk to me from Heaven. I would love to have a copy of Pennsylvania Patchwork. I have Leaving Lancaster and look forward to reading this new book. Thank you.
Mary, it sounds as though you have some very important people to meet up with again in heaven. I missed both my parents terribly. I look forward to your reading Pennsylvania Patchwork too!
We are indeed hardest on ourselves. Whether it’s a bad hair day, too hippy or something else I find myself comparing myself to others & not making the grade. I need to remember I am created in God’s image–how awesome is that! Would love to win. Thanks for the opportunity. Linda
dmcfarl101(at)juno(dot)com
I am hardest on myself too, Linda, and can relate. You sound awesome!
would love to win it1 AND I COLLECT AMISH DOLLS AND BUGGIES AND REALLY MISS LIVING IN PA.
Peggy J
amishangel@bellsouth.net
Thanks for visiting my blog and entering!
I love this post. Thanks for this 🙂
virtueandroses(at)gmail(dot)com