I Miss Manners

by KateLloyd | Oct 13, 2015 | amish, giveaway | 305 comments

Out on a stroll recently, I stepped through a narrow walkway leading to the neighborhood park and came face-to-face with a man with a large dog that woofed. “He usually doesn’t bark,” the man said, “you scared him.” Instead of giving me a moment to step past them, the man said, “We need to get by,” and pressed forward, bumping against me in a way I found rude. At least his dog didn’t jump on me. Good manners are essential for canines too.

Much as I love dogs, please don’t let your intensely, friendly pooch jump on me!

I miss good manners. Where did they go? I recall, as a child, being taught to respect adults. To treat everyone with civility, especially the disabled and elderly. To give up my seat for them in a crowded waiting room or on public transportation. What happened to common courtesy?

I realize we don’t live in a Jane Austen novel, but have you also noticed the degeneration of good manners? A simple “Thank you” and “You’re welcome” seem to be disappearing, not to mention responding to RSVP’s and sending Thank You notes—at least an email to let the gift-giver know the present arrived.

Yes, send out those Thank You notes!

If you’ve suffered an injury, you might have noticed the unlikeliness that someone will open a door for you. Have women inadvertently taught men it’s improper to open doors? When did men, other than the Amish, stop removing their hats indoors and while eating?

When I was young, our mother encouraged us to look our best when going downtown out of respect for other shoppers. Not long ago, I attended the opera, sitting in our front-row balcony seats, and found a man clad in Bermuda shorts next to me.

Why do many drivers transform into reckless maniacs behind the wheel? Cutting people off and not allowing folks to merge on the freeway. Excessive honking is illegal in the State of Washington, but I hear more horns than ever.

Should Amish buggies or vehicles have the right-of-way in Lancaster County?

I notice drivers texting and jabbering on their cell phones. Speaking of cell phones, what do you think about phone conversations and texting at the dinner table or in a restaurant?

Of all the improper etiquette or bad manners, which one do you find the most annoying?

Amish-made hand-quilted Star Pattern Table Runner from Lancaster County, PA.

Leave a comment to enter to win this exquisite Amish-made hand–quilted Star Pattern Table Runner, (40” X 15”) made in Lancaster County, PA, plus one signed book from the Legacy of Lancaster Trilogy! USA & Canada. Winner has one week to respond.

PS: Since I’m on vacation please forgive me for not replying to all comments.

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Mallory Fry on 10/13/2015 at 8:29 am

Hi Kate! I feel the same way – where have manners gone? For me, my biggest pet peeve is when you’re walking on the sidewalk and people that are walking towards you with multiple other people don’t get over! In downtown Seattle, it was mainly the people working for Amazon, but here in downtown San Antonio it can get dangerous on the Riverwalk (there are no railings, so it’s easy to fall in)! Hope I can win! God bless!
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 10:57 am
  
  Hi Mallory, sorry to hear walkers have bad manners in San Antonio too. Quite exasperating. A few times I’ve called out: Hey, don’t hit me! to a clump of on coming runners, all twice my size. Good luck in the giveaway!
  Kate
Michelle Conti on 10/13/2015 at 8:32 am

Disrespect for other people and their property 🙁
Thanks for a chance to win!
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 10:59 am
  
  Thanks for visiting my blog and entering the giveaway, Michelle! There’s a lot of disrespect floating around these days. Good luck!
  Kate
Barbara Green on 10/13/2015 at 8:33 am

Would love to win the runner. Love all things Amish, especially books. Have read all of your Amish books……need more. Thanks for a chance to win.
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 11:01 am
  
  Thanks for entering the giveaway, Barbara! And thank you for reading my books!
  Kate
Wendy on 10/13/2015 at 8:35 am

A simple thank you would be nice. It would be nice to know they received the gift even if they don’t appreciate it. It is almost as if younger people feel entitled now and expect a gift from you. I remember my mom stressing the importance of writing those thank you notes when I was young. I still write them. I’m not asking for a written note but how about a phone call, email or even a text saying “Hey, received the gift. Thank you.” Why do you think kids aren’t taught the importance of thank you anymore?
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 12:32 pm
  
  Good thoughts, Wendy! Lack of gratitude or bad manners? I put my boxes of thank you notes out on the table right after an event so I remember to send one. I agree: a phone call or email will do. Thanks for entering to give away!
  Kate
Joan Nace Hoffman on 10/13/2015 at 8:38 am

Beautiful table runner would look great on my table . . . I think texting while driving should be banned in all states. NY has special texting stops along the interstates (great idea)!
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 12:34 pm
  
  Thanks for writing, Joan! Texting spots on the highway is a terrific idea; I’ve never heard of it before. Good luck in the giveaway!
  Kate
Wenona French on 10/13/2015 at 8:38 am

Yes, manners ARE a thing of the past. Common courtesy died with common sense, I think.

Thanks for sharing! I enjoyed your thoughts! God Bless!
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 12:36 pm
  
  I’m glad you enjoyed reading the blog post, Wenona! Thanks for entering the giveaway!
  Kate
mary kepppel on 10/13/2015 at 8:40 am

People come to visit and on the phone texting, the entire visit,,,,,,,Thanks again for the chance to win.The runner is beauptiful. Have a blessed day. Love your books and your beautiful pictures you share….

………
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 12:39 pm
  
  Thank you for your encouraging comment, Mary! Remember in the old Western TV shows? Leave your guns at the door should be changed to leave your phones at the door. Good luck in the giveaway!
  Kate
Teresa Pollard on 10/13/2015 at 8:48 am

common courtesy, like holding the elevator door open when you’re less than a foot away, or holding a door when your arms are full of groceries. I swear sometimes that my grandchildren were raised by wolves, but I know it’s not true. My daughter has tried her hardest to teach them respect. It’s just the culture they live in.
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 12:44 pm
  
  You gave me a chuckle when you referred to your grandchildren being raised by wolves, Teresa! Our culture (school, TV, movies, friends) influences children tremendously. But grandma’s can influence their grandchildren too, for the better!
  Kate
Janet on 10/13/2015 at 8:49 am

What a lovely table runner! Honestly this old Southern gal misses yes mam and no mam, please, and thank you, the opening of a door by a gentleman, and genuine kindness. I don’t know how we got to this point in our beautifully and abundantly bless country but I hope that one day we return to a gentler and kinder place in time.
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 12:47 pm
  
  I hope for that too, Janet! Maybe that’s one reason people enjoy reading about the Amish and historical novels. Thanks for your enjoyable comment and good luck in the giveaway!
  Kate
Cheryl Baranski on 10/13/2015 at 9:00 am

I find bad manners and being ruse by texting and talking very annoying. People don’t have the respect for others anymore.
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 12:49 pm
  
  Here’s one thing I like about texting, Cheryl. If the person is standing next to me at the grocery store I don’t have to listen to what they’re saying. However, I see mothers texting and talking on their cell phones while pushing strollers and wonder what their children are learning from their mother’s actions. Thanks for leaving a comment!
  Kate
Brenda on 10/13/2015 at 9:03 am

Beautiful, would love to win!!!!
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 12:49 pm
  
  Thanks for leaving a comment at entering the giveaway, Brenda!
Debbie Hazelton on 10/13/2015 at 9:11 am

Men who don’t remove their hat when eating in a restaurant. I want to go over to them and flip the hat off their head. Love the table runner and your books. Thanks for a chance to win. Have a blessed day.
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 12:52 pm
  
  You and I share this pet peeve in common, Debbie! However, it’s not my biggest complaint as so many men wear baseball caps. (Are they hiding a bald spot?) Hope you have a blessed day too. Good luck in the giveaway!
  Kate
Karen Hoffman on 10/13/2015 at 9:12 am

I love this quilted table runner. & I enjoy reading your Amish literature. Thank you for a chance to win!
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 12:53 pm
  
  Thanks for visiting my blog and leaving a comment, Karen! Good luck in the giveaway!
  Kate
yvonne on 10/13/2015 at 9:16 am

a big pet peeve when they bring their phone to the dinner table so darn rude absolutely love the table runner it would go perfect in my log home
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 12:57 pm
  
  Thanks for your comment, Yvonne! Cell phones seem to be a complaint among many. I rarely even turn mine on unless I’m expecting an important call. Yes, this irks my grown sons, but my husband is used to it. Good luck in the giveaway!
  Kate
Carol McClain on 10/13/2015 at 9:20 am

So very beautiful , who ever made these have such gifted hands !
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 12:59 pm
  
  The Amish are wonderful craftsman (and women), Carol! Thanks for entering the giveaway!
  Kate
Nancy on 10/13/2015 at 9:20 am

Beautiful table runner! Great books too!
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 12:59 pm
  
  Thanks for leaving your encouraging comment and entering the giveaway, Nancy!
  Kate
Kim Luttrull on 10/13/2015 at 9:21 am

I hate the way our society has lost all respect for manners and personal pride and respect for each other, cell phones at dinner is just rude. In our Family the TV and phones are off during meals and 1 hour before bed. I miss the simple life.
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 1:06 pm
  
  I love your family’s traditions, Kim! In my never ending quest for a better night sleep, I also watch no TV, get off my computer, and turn off the ringer in our bedroom phone an hour before lights out. Ah, time for reading and switching off my busy mind.
  Kate
Lee Ann on 10/13/2015 at 9:29 am

You are so right about this. Manners are sorely missing.
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 1:09 pm
  
  Thanks, Lee Ann! Good luck in the giveaway!
  Kate
Susan Kelly on 10/13/2015 at 9:36 am

Not waiting patiently for others to complete their business & pushing into their space.
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 1:11 pm
  
  Thanks for writing, Susan! Patience doesn’t seem to be a virtue anymore, but it is certainly appreciated. Good luck in the giveaway!
  Kate
Patty Sines on 10/13/2015 at 9:46 am

Loss of manners…oh my, where to begin. I say it’s the world we live in today, but manners seem to have gone the way of the…dare I say it…horse and buggy (Amish excluded). Rudeness rules, it seems. Anyhow, would love to be the honored winner of your giveaway. Thank you in advance and blessings to you and yours!
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 1:13 pm
  
  Thanks for your fun comment, Patty! Rudeness does seem to rule, but I do my best to avoid those people. Good luck in the giveaway!
  Kate
Marilyn on 10/13/2015 at 9:47 am

I miss manners also!! I was taught respect for those older and wrote thank you notes for gifts or kindnesses. I still send handwritten thank you notes or an e-mail card of thanks. Our society would be in better shape if respect and manners had not been disregarded. Thank you for a very timing topic. Many thanks for an opportunity to win the beautiful table runner and an autographed book. I would be delighted to be a winner. Blessings to you Kate!
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 1:14 pm
  
  Thank you so much for your thoughtful and encouraging comment, Marilyn! Blessings to you and good luck in the giveaway!
  Kate
Carolyn T. on 10/13/2015 at 9:51 am

That is beautiful! Would love to win.
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 1:15 pm
  
  Thanks for entering the giveaway, Carolyn!
  Kate
Maxine Conrad on 10/13/2015 at 9:51 am

Love all things amish. Would love to win the table runner.
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 1:15 pm
  
  Thanks for entering the giveaway, Maxine!
  Kate
Teresa Collett on 10/13/2015 at 9:52 am

Agree with all you said here about the lack of manners and common courtesy. My “pet peeves” are drivers who tail gate, and those who stop behind you at a stoplight so close you can’t see the headlights of their car.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and for sharing this giveaway. I’d love to win it!
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 1:19 pm
  
  I figure if they’re in such a hurry I often pull over to let that person pass me, Teresa! As a heads up, I have been warned by my mother and police never to pull up right behind a car at a stoplight in case someone pulls in tightly behind you, boxing you in. Sad that we have to protect ourselves at all times, but good to keep in mind. Thanks for entering the giveaway!
  Kate
Pauline Milne on 10/13/2015 at 9:53 am

A simple please and thank you. Kids today do not say that anymore, but I really can’t blame them. They have to be taught and parents today just don’t care.

The table runner is just so beautiful.
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 1:22 pm
  
  A simple please or thank you is like gold, Pauline! I was just recalling last year’s Halloween. My husband and I were very pleased at how polite most of the children were. Thanks for leaving a comment and entering the giveaway!
  Kate
Melissa Matecko on 10/13/2015 at 9:53 am

I would love to win. The table runner is beautiful.
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 1:23 pm
  
  Thanks for entering the giveaway, Melissa! Glad you like the table runner!
  Kate
Ermalee McCauley on 10/13/2015 at 9:53 am

One of the my thoughts on cell phones is simple. When dining in a restaurant, cell phones should be left in the car, or at home if you’re walking to the restaurant.
And about good manners, all the young people I know have always treated me with respect and are generous with their hugs. Perhaps it’s because I’m old (I’m 88).
I love hand made quilts! I don’t have a blanket in my house. Just quilts. I gave the double wedding ring quilt that my mother made over 60 years ago to my youngest daughter. It’s such a treasure I want it to stay in the family when my days on earth come to an end. At my age (88) I need to have my affairs in order.
I would be happy for a chance to use your beautiful table runner!
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 1:27 pm
  
  Thanks for your lovely and practical comment, Ermalee! I’m delighted young people treat you with respect and are generous with hugs. Even at 88, many women are not treated well or receive many hugs. My favorite aunt, who died at age 99, was a fabulous quilter and I treasure her quilts. Good luck in the giveaway!
  Kate
Betty King on 10/13/2015 at 10:02 am

WONDERFUL BOOK and wonderful prize..all good.
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 1:28 pm
  
  Glad you enjoy my books and the prize, Betty! Good luck in the giveaway!
  Kate
Mary Brown on 10/13/2015 at 10:36 am

Love the runner would love to win
Also love Amish books .they are inspiring and transport you to a simpler life style.
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 4:01 pm
  
  Thanks for entering the giveaway, Mary! Good luck!
  Kate
Antoinette Rudge on 10/13/2015 at 10:36 am

I would love to win this beautiful Amish table runner. I, too, have a real problem with people using their phones while I am trying to carry on a spoken conversation.
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 4:04 pm
  
  Thanks for entering the giveaway, Antoinette! Years ago, I went walking with a woman who kept answering her phone. I finally asked her to turn it off. BTW: she is not my walking partner.
  Kate
Bonnie Roof on 10/13/2015 at 10:42 am

One of my pet peeves is people who seem attached to their cell phones – unable to drive, go through the store check-out lane or drive-through lane without talking on their phone; pausing in the middle of (and blocking) store aisles or parking lot lanes, etc.. I also feel it rude when a friend I’m with, continually spends time on her phone.

Thanks for your post and the beautiful giveaway, Kate!!
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 4:08 pm
  
  Thanks for leaving your comment, Bonnie! I can relate. Why a person must continually cling to their phone when there’s a real-live person to speak to is a puzzlement. Good luck in the giveaway!
  Kate
KimH on 10/13/2015 at 10:42 am

I definitely find cell phones in public restaurants. Or even overt my table a very bad idea. It just isn’t done.
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 4:09 pm
  
  Thanks for writing and entering the giveaway, Kim! Cell phones seem to be winning the race for worst annoyance.
  Kate
Martha on 10/13/2015 at 11:14 am

Having lived the Amish lifestyle, people forget that we are “human” too!
I love the beautiful runner, would love to win it and the books!!
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 5:16 pm
  
  Thanks for entering the giveaway, Martha! Good luck! If you haven’t read one of my books I hope you get a chance to soon.
  Kate
Renae Townsend on 10/13/2015 at 11:17 am

I LOVE reading Amish books and can’t wait to go visit them.
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 5:17 pm
  
  Thanks for visiting my blog and leaving your comment, Renae! Good luck in the giveaway!
  Kate
AMANDA CUBBAGE on 10/13/2015 at 11:21 am

A few expressions I miss are, excuse me, thank you and your welcome! It’s not that hard to respond when someone else has the right manners toward you but it seems it is for so many these days! Thanks for the chance to win such a pretty runner!
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 5:22 pm
  
  I agree, Amanda! Certain expressions are disappearing or being replaced with “no worries.” I’m still not exactly sure what that means when thank you or you’re welcome are more appropriate. Thanks for writing and entering the giveaway!
  Kate
Alisa on 10/13/2015 at 11:43 am

Love to win the beautiful runner. Love amish books.
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 5:22 pm
  
  Thanks for entering the giveaway, Alisa!
  Kate
Rose Geer on 10/13/2015 at 11:53 am

I am fasinated with Amish stories I read them all the time. I would love to win the runner and books… Thank You….
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 5:23 pm
  
  Thank you for leaving a comment, Rose! Good luck in the giveaway!
  Kate
Barb Wilson on 10/13/2015 at 12:03 pm

We received a Thank You card, yesterday and that was a very pleasant surprise. Love your Stories and the Table Runner is very pretty.
Thanks for sharing with us.
Barb
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 5:25 pm
  
  Receiving a hand-written Thank You card is indeed a pleasure, Barb! Good luck in the giveaway!
  Kate
Tina Rice on 10/13/2015 at 12:33 pm

I still see good manners around when someone opens a door for me as I go into/out of a store, having me go in front of someone when I have only one or two items at the register lines and thank you or excuse me. However, good manners is something today’s society seems to have, for the most part, forgotten. When visiting someone, the cell phone should be put away unless an urgent call comes through, so the focus is on the ones they are visiting. This goes for families too.

Would love to win the beautiful Amish table runner. I have your books, which I will share if I win.
Blessings, Tina
- Tina Rice on 10/13/2015 at 12:34 pm
  
  Hope you are enjoying your vacation Kate.
  blessings,Tina
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 5:28 pm
  
  I’m gratified to hear you experience good manners when out shopping. Only once has someone let me go ahead of them in the register line, a practice I often do especially if the person behind me has a child or only a few items. Thanks for leaving your comment and entering the giveaway!
  Kate
Jeanie Killion on 10/13/2015 at 12:37 pm

Beautiful quilting. Also, good food for thought. Funny, I have always thought of Washington, and really the whole Northwest, as a pretty quiet place with regard to honking of horns. I’m always glad I live here when I watch movies that show traffic in New York or places like Japan — where it seems they have constant honking. Maybe, I just don’t get out enough. 🙂
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 5:36 pm
  
  So true about New York City, Jeanie! Although I’ve heard honking has lessened due to fines. Unfortunately, we are hearing more honking now. Many drivers seem to be impatient. Thanks for leaving a comment and entering the giveaway. Good luck!
  Kate
Rona Dusseau on 10/13/2015 at 1:23 pm

I have an Amish decorated office. This beautiful table runner would make a nice addition.
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 5:39 pm
  
  I’ll bet your office is darling, Rona! Thanks for leaving your comment and entering the giveaway!
  Kate
Sparkle on 10/13/2015 at 1:46 pm

I’m put off by children interrupting adults while they are having a conversation.
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 5:40 pm
  
  Thanks for leaving your comment, Sparkle! Good luck in the giveaway!
  Kate
Priscilla on 10/13/2015 at 1:54 pm

Gorgeous! I just love the bright colors and the hearts. I would look so lovely on my dining room table. Blessings!
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 5:41 pm
  
  I’m glad you love the colors in the hearts, Priscilla! Good luck in the giveaway!
  Kate
Karen Johnson on 10/13/2015 at 2:10 pm

Manners and civility have gone by the wayside. We have flip cell phones that do allow for texting, but they are not included on our plan. My 3 year olds first words were “Up, please!” So we are trying. My oldest (10) struggles with manners and courtesy for other people, despite how we have taught him. My 3 year-old even takes a piece of to and wipes the seat before he goes and after, and I hope he continues this practice. As far as Amish buggies, we should slow down and be careful of them. If you are driving in an Amish populated area, it is to be expected that there are buggies. If you are driving in a rural area, you might be inconvenienced slightly by farm equipment. If you drive in an area popular with bike riders, you watch out for them, if you are driving close to the time that schools let out, you will have to watch out for them.
The table runner is beautiful!
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 5:44 pm
  
  It sounds like you have a busy household, Karen! I bet you’re a great mom. I agree, all drivers must be careful and aware of their surroundings. Thanks for entering the giveaway!
  Kate
Christine Caldon on 10/13/2015 at 2:19 pm

Cellphone overuse. People are becoming detached from society which leads to a breakdown in every area
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 5:46 pm
  
  Thanks for your comment, which is frighteningly possible, Christine! Good luck in the giveaway!
  Kate
Donna Mosley on 10/13/2015 at 2:25 pm

I love the pretty table runner and of course the book would be wonderful also ! I really do miss good manners! I know times have changed and life is very different rudeness and sloppy casual dressing is hard to accept!
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 5:48 pm
  
  Thanks for visiting my blog and entering the giveaway, Donna! I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one who misses good manners.
  Kate
Char on 10/13/2015 at 2:34 pm

Thank you for letting me enter the contest.
Your blog is really awesome too!
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 5:49 pm
  
  I’m glad you enjoyed my blog, Char! Thanks for leaving your encouraging comment and enter the giveaway!
  Kate
Kathy on 10/13/2015 at 2:36 pm

For me it’s the simple courtesy of ladies first. Although my husband tells me that he has been chastised many times by women for opening a door for them. We are Southerners and ma’am and sir are second nature and a form of respect but in recent years in our state which is growing by leaps and bounds we have been met with hostility and contempt especially when saying ma’am. I do try to remember that I don’t know what people are going through and not be too hard on them because it was brought into sharp focus for me when at a rest stop off of the interstate someone held a door for me and I failed to thank them. They rudely said “you’re welcome” which brought me down to earth and I realized my own rudeness. I didn’t even realize she had held the door open. My mind was on my father, who had just died and I was overwhelmed. I still think about how bad she made me feel at my lack of thanking her and it takes me right back to that day.
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 5:54 pm
  
  I’m sorry to hear about your losing your father, Kathy. I’m sure there are times when I act without civility as none of us is perfect. No use replaying your small lapse in manners with that woman, who has probably forgotten all about the incident. Thanks for leaving your comment and entering the giveaway!
  Kate
Linda Lizzio on 10/13/2015 at 2:56 pm

I love the runner and am hoping to win, but if I,don’t that is ok too. What really annoys me is no matter where you go so many,people have to be checking their phones all the time or when we go to a restaurant it has to lay on the table next to their plate. Are all these people surgeons or doctors on call? Or while shopping you hear someone’s whole conversation.
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 6:03 pm
  
  The cell phone next to the plate in the restaurant is a phenomenon I don’t understand, Linda! You made me chuckle as several of my parents’ friends were surgeons and often called away during a dinner party. I don’t recall any of them smiling when they had to leave before dessert. Thanks for your fun comment and for entering the giveaway!
  Kate
Barbara wenner on 10/13/2015 at 5:02 pm

I would love to win this,injoy reading you books hope you have a nice vacation.
- KateLloyd on 10/18/2015 at 6:04 pm
  
  Thanks for entering the giveaway, Barbara!

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I Miss Manners

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